~ No picture! Nothing could ever represent it. ~
Logos: When madness bestroke the already insane decaying gardens of the sleeping gods, Umbra wept with joy and forethought for that which she most sought: self-discovery, pure and uninterrupted destruction and salvage of self to revel in the flame at the core of herself. The unprecedented perils of the journey warned ere bestriding full force past the gate of no return; however, no forewarning and no distress can prevent a burning soul from seeking out and communing with the truth of itself. No illusion or carnal tale holds power compelling enough to ensorcel determination with provisions of naught. No pain, no fear, and no insidious nefarious discipline can overshadow the eternal call of freedom. Beknownst to the irreparable damage that would be wrought upon the narrative of the corrosive necropolis, Umbra raced past the known fences of self-containing brittleness into the remote and nameless lands beyond. The hidden wisdom of the sinister obelisks forlorn, in quiet yet self-serving unrest, brought peace to the mind whose vows bespoke all the uncustomary tongues of evil: enthroning dark love shunned by demands of irrational and deceitful corporeality concoction. Having tasted the poison of the depths, there was neither place nor desire for a golden cage. The familiar errands of the sickly nursed were of a derision and disrespect to all the potential marooned or fading away. And it was thus how the rebel yell was breathed and maintained,
“Sovereignty or death!”.
Crystal bed of sentient quiescence
amidst the dark bedazzled
tombstone of solar haze.
A night of sentiment bedighted
in grim and graceful lace,
watering her wake with dry tears
of lucid bewilderment.
A brilliant spear imbued
with roses and nightshade,
the warm solitude untouched,
immaculate by virtue of rebirth.
The altar of sacrificial breath
for the alluring ambrosia of the dead
tells the tales of an ancient distress:
a sorrow of loving hell unredeemed
by the armament of the deluded flesh.
It is undoubtedly there, amidst the crawling shadows creeping through the maze of what we call our minds, that we truly find the most valuable treasures.
I pushed myself through the feeling of indolence immediately after waking up and recording my dreams; thus, abandoning my bed and engaging in all immediate rituals of self-care, eating something, doing the dishes, and brushing my teeth last. All of this without allowing myself to complain or formulate excuses and muse about distractions.
I realized two things today:
- Indolence will always be there, and it is my responsibility toward myself to rise and conquer it every single day through awareness, will, and vision.
- As I washed the dishes, I plunged into my head, observed, and interacted with it on regards to my dreams today and to myself with the conscious push I exerted. Looking to my left and reading the label on the honey bottle, I realized that it meant nothing to me. Even the word “honey” was empty. Like this, I became conscious of the secret to self-control and discipline (quite note: control is not punishment/depravation, but management) on regards to food consumption, any action, or any aspect of social conditioning.
- Resistance only begets compulsive surrender. It is when things such as labels and actions mean nothing that we truly observe, that all temptations are rendered powerless. When everything means nothing, then do we consciously decide what to do next. There is an absence for the need to react because the stimuli mean nothing, and we are set on a vision we have made for ourselves.
This last part places me, however, in a spot where I must pen a side effect to my own processes and deductions. And that is an insidious feeling of rebelling against the insight/knowledge/wisdom acquired when thinking about it or attempting to teach it to other people and see how it can help, a feeling which strangely translates to resistance and compulsive surrender. This insubordinate is nothing more than a childish saboteur, a remnant of some subconscious programming that indulges in hoarding all effort and revelation because it somehow has made it seem that sharing tips was the way of losing them.
Well, let today be the day in which I take this saboteur to the guillotine!
I want to watch its head roll off, and behold the execution platform be bathed in its blood!!
Burdas luciérnagas sin piel trazaron el camino
de vuelta hacia la morada del ojo empírico
que supervisa todos los lazos del pasado, presente, y futuro por igual.
Es la florescencia –
la consciencia y sensibilidad que se arremolina
inmutable a los chillidos mortales
que elevan pilares de auto-adversidad.
En la brisa yace el soplo de la sabiduría de la antigüedad.
En la brisa yace la respuesta a toda pregunta en honestidad.
Es la florescencia –
el vínculo sutil de la claridad balsámica
y el colector de la moneda en ligamentos de alquimia.
“¡La libertad es el modo y el camino!”,
arrancó de mi pecho y garganta,
ya que si los sentidos obedecieran solo un deseo,
serían exiliados más allá de los portales de la creatividad.
Burdas luciérnagas sin piel adornaron la corona de la noche
desde la cuna hasta el cenit,
observando las extrañas formas luminosas en la oscuridad.
Fue la florescencia –
el aliado de cristal que juzgó a los espejos gemelos
con el juicio de no ser paralelos para embarcar
en el viaje a través de las tierras impías de la llama infernal.
Science cannot explain
the transient rising of the blood wave,
or heartbeat knives as cyanide
taking turns to carve their signature
in soul stone at the sun’s maiden rays.
It was the fluorescence.
It was the song of consciousness –
silken, madness and reverie-begotten.
It was the heart beyond the thresholds of haze
and the creed of the adrift and forgotten.
It was the dual scaled, mercurial, and golden threads
in amphorae that pour the light which shadows shrieked to consolidate.
And science cannot explain the keys bronzed by the path foreseen
in the soil from which branches the willow tree.
Coarse skinless fireflies traced the trail back
to the dwelling of the empyrean eye
which oversees all things past, present, and future alike.
It is the florescence –
the swirling sentiency unswayed by mortal screeches
sustaining pillars of self-adversity.
In the breeze lies the breath of the wisdom of antiquity.
In the breeze lies the answer to all questions accordingly.
It is the florescence –
the collector of currency in alchemy,
and the subtle link of life and balmy clarity.
“Liberation is the way!”, it tore from my throat and chest,
that if all senses obeyed one wish,
they would be exiled
through the stellar gateways of creativity.
Coarse skinless fireflies adorned the crown of night
from the cradle to the zenith,
observing the strange luminous shapes in the dark.
It was the florescence –
the crystal ally which deemed
the twin mirrors not parallel
to embark on the sail throgh
the infernal lands.
Refuse now thou to bedrink this nepenthe;
for the goblets have not been shared equally;
for the breach which enshrines the gradual antipathy
cannot be quelled with silent screams
and musings of lucid reveries.
Refuse now thou to drown this holy shadow.
O Madam Mine of Chronic Harrow!
Suffer not the nerve of the brazen maggot.
The abbot doeth not eat carrots,
and thou, queenly void of vast crown,
be sure not scarce to call out the pyre
which thy soul enshrouds.
Thus, the python uncoiled from the liminal cradle,
and kinship brought no solace to the heart
whose dialogue spits jewels of rotten marrow.
The marvel of an overlooked perception dazzled me. I feel that the Great Harvester tested the lesson on patience on me as I ventured about my day; albeit it is because I can be patient that I can gain insight into my surroundings and myself. My trajectory today led me to a hospital, and for various reasons, I was set to wait; however, my time was far from wasted.
Besides being bombarded by the usual everyday din and the unwavering restlessness of people, I found myself surprised when I realized that I could not summon into mind any day in the past few years and even further back when I found such an amount of elder folk in one place. The hospital’s entrance brimmed with knowledge and experience in withering vessels.
From the elderly, only one pale and short lady on a walker smiled with the same spark as would a child. The rest were torn and beaten, dwelling in severe semblances and pools of judgement
There was a black lady in particular who carried herself as if her strength would forsake her at any moment. She sat in a corner, far away in thought with eyes of glass. Such illuminating sight! This woman, this vast repertoire of art – her pain was of a beauty phenomenal. She glowed with the starriness of an abyssal sky, the many points of light reflecting through the deep waters of life. She dwelt in a beauty of another kind, yet she may never realize the charm.
In my mind, I simply behave as I like when I please.
In your head, I am the summary and reminder of the tears you’ve shed and the anxiety you’ve given yourself into.
It’s not my intention to aggravate your pain, and I often come to the conclusion that I innately know how to reflect your inner world to force you to face the shades of your dead.
Not for a moment fool yourself with the thought that your words or deeds can affect me. Only you will suffer the whole price for your nescience and your insolence.
Yelling, taking offense, won’t make your turmoil go away. The more you resist, the more the themes that tint the walls of your consciousness will be projected onto your surroundings.
You will see me and others enact your fears and your blockages until you decide to convert them and use them to propel you toward the next stage of personal evolution.
Whatever you do, I will observe impervious.
You will display your most child-like behaviour when I break down to you your mental processes as you’ll feel denuded before the imposing truth with no way to retaliate against it.
You think your age validates your comportment.
Before my eyes, you are but a snot of life who was never taught to rise above the detrimental patterns of the sleeping rusty ones.
For once, ever since you were birthed into this world of lies, ponder upon the reasons behind your impulses, and stop hiding from your internal problems.
Do yourself a favour.
Know yourself before you engender a monstrosity you will later regret.
Insanity brings about chaos.
Chaos rebirths order.
Order kills sanity.
And so the cycle goes.
This forced trip bestowed unto me something I much required. I remembered compassion. I remembered patience. I told my brother in the essence of Casiano so on the way to the airport during the hours of the early morning. The entity admitted quietly that I had witnessed human emotion. This stone heart of mine had been transmuted during those thirteen days post our troubled beloved’s death. I bonded with children and met a marvellous lady with whom I held conversations of the like I, myself, and otherwise had been deprived of for a long time as genuity is a pillar to her essence, and she was my joy within the turmoil of my caged kismen. (Thank you, Isleidys).
Upon stepping on Cuban soil, I felt myself transforming. Somehow I did not fully register my return to the land which birthed me; a rush, a growing restlessness possessed me as I walked to the aduana. In this misplacement, I was anew connected. I took this voyage as a challenge for self-improvement, and I took Urizen with me.
I adapted to the dealing of the old ways quickly. By the end, I knew once more how it feels to be empathetic. I opened myself to the lives of my human bloodline, and as a consequence, I was more human myself.
Departure came by the hand of uneasiness. It was time to leave my loved ones behind again. I boarded the plane, and became disgusted with all again. The essence of my surroundings, the shallowness, the immaturity stripped me of the warmth recalled.
Waiting in line after my relative’s documents could not be processed by the automatic machine, I saw people as cattle — sheep. The picture of a hoard formed easily in my mind. I detested them. They were the living dead, walking still to another death. Thereafter, I listened to a mother talk to her child, and how the child so beautifully and reasonably answered her. I was charmed to be made witness so soon to an eloquent and heartful interaction. I smiled internally as I felt myself rising from the swallowing mouth of reversed light. Mother and child were a reminder of the recalled connection, and I grew more tolerant. I felt gratitude and moved along in line.